Friday, December 12, 2008

stop staring , im no lesbian!!

Well, I came to notice her recently. She is my neighbor, and that’s all she is to me. Nothing more than that, we had never exchanged even a smile, not even one friendly jesture.but lately I have noticed how much she was interested in what’s happening in my life. And especially me. And this has really bemused me with a lot of silly where I was even forced to imagine her as even to be a lesbian. Well frankly i am not one; my daughter says it all :) .

I have noticed her hungrily gawping through her window into my apartment. I still wonder what’s it with her. Is she trying to study me? I have no idea. And recently she has even tried to make some silly conversation with me. And to my surprise she even invited me to her apartment. Well dear what should I interpret from this behavior of hers? Is she lunatic, well she doesn’t look like one? But when I had gone for the kitty party last week, one of my friends was asking me to stay away from her. Most women in our society take her as a lesbian.

I don’t have any problem even if she was one. The reason is simple, I just don’t care. But I do care for one thing; gosh I really don’t want to be stared at! At least not at my home! I need my own privacy .I don’t want to be a piece of entertainment. Yesterday I decided to shut my windows. And did it help? No way, she has found her own way to peep into my life again and this time it was from her balcony. I was seriously into a dilemma yesterday. And even had a restless sleep. Her stare was making me go eccentric. I was turning out to be some else even at my home, with the fear of her staring, like shobha de was telling enough is enough! I just couldn’t take this anymore so finally I found my way out!

The first thing I did this morning was to open up all my windows draw the curtains. Then I saw her standing near her window and staring into my privacy. It wasn’t just anger that was running through me; it was almost like a vengeance. I started staring back at her, without a blink, with my full might and vigor I fought her through my stare. She was an excellent counterpart but eventually she gave up. I smiled at her and told her that staring was not just one sided and. with this one sentence I left her and went back to my couch, though however dramatic the situation was I felt at peace now. I knew she wouldn’t peep into my privacy again. And she hasn’t dared too, till now.

I had even recently written about this but I never thought this would happen to me. Home is the most comfortable place in the whole world. And it is our right to have some privacy. People like her have nothing to do but to peep into other people’s life. I wonder what do they get through this. Our life is our own and it is not some kind of show for others to watch on. As I lay down in my bed today it almost seems like some kind of burden has been taken away from happy with myself. As I fought for my freedom!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


I’ve been to mg road a zillion times and Ive seen that double Decker eagerly catching my attention always. But something really didn’t make me go there. Yesterday the magic worked. I finally went to the 11 east street cafe. And by god I just loved it from the beginning.

The staff, the food and the crowd was really warm especially when at this chilly winter. it was almost like a street and one could find a lot of cozy, warm chairs to sit,and many shops too. The ambiance was of course good but it was all a little dark too giving us privacy. And our tables were lit with a beautiful aroma candle. There were reminders of an old English street and there were many light posts with the British flags. And in the middle there was a beautiful fountain with artistic statues of three beautiful angels. There was even a miniature of a double Decker bus with a miniature driver on it. It was actually the baking space. There were chocolates, pastries of all kinds which obviously made me bounce with joy. Upstairs was almost like a lounge peaceful, calm and spacious and some soft music added peace to the atmosphere.

Food was delicious; there was everything from American, English, German, French to Chinese, Thai, and Indian. There was a small bar with a lot of drinks including softies, hotties; even the cocktails and mock tails were extra special. We ordered for two hot dogs which I haven’t had for some time. While we waited we talked about the place, the place and again the place.this was one good place to hang out especially after the long tiring week. This was a wonderful place to meet and make friends from all around the world.

The cafe gave a great change in our mood. Especially after seeing the merry faces and wonderful food, id love to spend most of my weekends there rather than another 5 star hotels. I heard one of the waiters explaining to the customers that this was a miniature make of an original one which was actually there in London.anyways i am in love with the place and ill surely love to spend most of our special moments there.
For its worth it!!!

Monday, December 8, 2008

not so feministic!!!!

I was at the grocery store yesterday with my darling Naomi clinging on me and looking around fascinated. I wonder what’s so fascinating in the grocery store anyways.maybe it’s the baby thing again.well,what took my attention was a new portion they had added on the store-the magazine section.wowie I was really excited with the idea that ill be able to read something again(ive cut short everything here thanks to my new budget!!)A simple magazine would surely mean no harm. Amidst the business magazines which were on a plenty my eyes fell upon femina. I haven’t read it in all my life!!

But alas I was fooled yet again (well I do not deny the fact that I am fooled often) but this was a little too much especially when I was practically experimenting my budget plan. I was fooled from the beginning. I lost my 40 rupees. And it was better to have brought an Archie’s or any other comic for that matter, atleast I wouldn’t sit down complaining!!!i was actually on the notion that there would be a lot of girly stuffs. But phew, leave girly stuffs the matter was simply scarce. I wonder what was going through the editor’s head. Just advertisements? And a whole lot of them. And when I say advertisements I shouldn’t miss
Saying that they are pointed to the upper class or rather the rich unlike for the ones like me who strive to keep the house running on a small budget for a month. Winter collections, spring collections, accessories blah blah blah and the list just goes on (this is not a fashion channel for gods sake!!)
Interestingly, the main article was that of the 50 most beautiful women in India. Well dear never did i caste my vote leave the fact that I haven’t even heard of its voting. Who selected them? People living in the elite sections of our society are always lucky and privileged to be described as beautiful. I believe there are more beautiful woman in India than any of those which has been put on in the magazine.

And the other articles, it was absolutely rubbish; they haven’t given justice to even recipes which was also put on just for the elite. Well don’t we exist at all. I think even when they are targeting profit a little importance should have been given to the middle class. for they take in for the majority. is it that they lack columnists? or is it because there is lack of talent or creativity? Well I think our country is overflowing with people having all of them together but luck!

There are so many things happening to a woman these days? Is famina showing the world is still full of optimists and only beauty? I think this is a little too much. This was almost like shutting the eyes and pretending that everything is going all normal. There is much more to a magazine it should at least make the reader think, imagine and influence, femina obviously lacked in everything. a magazine should be a voice for the under privileged a voice to express not just beauty but also agony and loss…especially at bad times like these.
Well at least I won’t be reading famina anymore. Readers digest is always my favourite, atleast there are lots of creamy contents. Maybe Tanya chitanya would read it up one day and put up an apology press conference…

Sunday, December 7, 2008


I know a change has come over me and hey it’s nothing to do with barrack obama.its something to do with my self. Some kind of stupid notion had taken over me previously which used to make me think cynical. Now that the phase has passed out I sit in my couch my legs crossed and looking up at the ceiling which obviously was integrate. I still don’t get what has happened to me but whatever it is it’s actually giving me a good feeling or rather I felt at peace. I had recently gone for a dance programme so maybe some kind of pathos has taken over me. As I arrange my potpourri I am still thinking what was this feeling? Well I got it! It’s obviously got to do with dance. To be more specific it has got to do with my whole self.

I am a person who can really get influenced by arts. And by arts I mean to specify that I love dance. It actually is like a prayer to me which helps in invoking my self. I still remember the time when my mother used to drag me to my dance class which never used to impress me. I was so mechanical. But gradually when I stopped it. I really came to know how much I missed dancing; it was almost like not taking my bath. I came to realize how much it had influenced me subconsciously. Sometimes even deliberate actions by our parents can change our way of thinking completely. It was almost like making me taste dal makhani which is actually delicious but can’t take it in for the cream. But then once you’ve tasted it, it turns out to be a favorite dish. But when I talk about deliberate actions there are so many things in life which just comes in without any force…it was almost like written to us before hand. Even in the most dramatic turbulence of our life some kind of suavity or adaptive ness comes into us. It almost makes us question ourselves and I should say this is the most powerful element found only in us, the Homo sapiens.

It was always in my thought whether there was god or not, but it is in our nature to blame someone for our misfortunes and appreciate our selves for happiness. But I believe that there is some force that is really watching over us. And we just name it as Allah, ram or Jesus. I think these are just paths to an eternal peace…nirvana. I can almost feel his glance at me, at this mere puny creature like me who must be just another piece of creation for him. But no he has always been kind to me.ive always been mercifully granted a second chance. And this I feel is another cause of change that has come over me. I know I am into a quest a quest to learn the ultimate truth of life within life. And then to be lucid over everything that happens around me. I know it will take some time but like I said before I am not cynical anymore.

Its time I put my words into action let me find my self let me dance, a dance that would invoke myself and bring my atman closer to the paramatman…