Friday, September 5, 2008

RANCOUR

my grandmother used to tell me...the trees bend down when the fruits come up..

what a beautiful concept..to be humble and down to earth even after conquering the greatest of heights...

i was recently visited by one of my friends.i was to recieve her with a lot of happy news and to have spend a lot of quality time.but to my surprise i found a total make over.i had known her for years from the time i had joined my school.she was my best buddy for time unknown.we loved and cared for each other and was there through thick and thin.she used to be my reflection.and even after my marriage we used to keep in touch and i knew that she was one person who really was happy for me.


but then something started changing in her.it almost felt like she was so near yet a huge distance existed.and there was always a predominant lull hanging around whenever memories flow.was it a blankness.i cannot yet understand.but all i know is that she had changed.it was
he had changed.there were only little phone calls.and not even friendly messages or scraps.it was like she had an alzhiemers, a special one that effected only that part of her memory where i existed.i wasnt sure whether it was something i did.but as far as my memory could go i was innocent.i knew that there was a fierce competition amongst us.but it was all healthy and good.and it was just for good academics.both of us silenced it most of the times.but i am sure it never crossed its limits and was never a reason for this sudden distance.she recently got into one of the best colleges and i was completly happy for her.it was like a dream come true for me.she was my friend,she was i.

wheneveri think of it now this change came over her exaclty after she
entered this new arena.there was a huge competition there too.and a competition where one can survive only if armed properly with a fierce foundation.and i was confident in her because she was not only good but the best.

the spectacled face showed little emotions.it was plastic,it was a strangers.she wore somethin i have never seen her in.and by god she looked good.but something wasnt her.she got into my car and i saw her face again.there was nothing friendly again.she came and then she went.and during the short time.all she could
point out were things i didnt have or rather those things she had!she was cynical about everything around.and then i knew this was not the friend who meant such a lot to me,not the one who was the reason for my success, not the one who shared
my joys and cried for my misfortunes.this was a stranger who wanted to reach somewhere big,and is ready to put all the relations at stake.
and the reason she came?was it show me how much she has outgrown from the little world we used to live in?or was it show my nothingness?
i could see something dancing in her head and i knew she has reached into the greatest of heights from where she couldnt hear anyone calling not even the memories which had already shed its leaves.she was like a fruitless tree adamant never to bend down or to look behind the lane of memories,not even to
those people who helped her and stood by her.


love is the most powerful emotion in the world.but in love is there a room for hatred too?why is that someone who was so close,leave scars in the heart?why does people change when they reach the greatest of heights?is it because of the shed of memories?but now i now i know
i lost my friend......

15 comments:

VaisakhRulez said...

"the trees bend down when the fruits come up.."..
i dont see any correlation with this proverb and what you were explaining about your incident with your friend...

VaisakhRulez said...

your experience sounds pretty familiar...
I have come across this scenario several times in my life....

VaisakhRulez said...

after months or years, when you come across people whom you cared most or kept closer to your heart than anyone else...
if you see changes in their behavior, by the way the react, of them seemed not interested in you or your presence...
don't be alarmed.. this is pretty natural...
sometimes circumstances can change people a lot over time...

it doesn't matter how she responds on your first meet after a long time...

she may be thinking the same way... or may be she is thinking that you might have changed after you got married or had a baby

Don't let this bother you, you go ahead and keep on interacting with her as if you are still in the those days when things were otherwise...

She will get back to being her normal self

VaisakhRulez said...

am i right ?

i_am_a_nymph said...

ya maybe..and the trees bending down..its being humble even after getting into the greatest of heights..

VaisakhRulez said...

life will have tough time... people can be frustrated about that.. try to get closer to her.
maybe u will be helping that person out.

VaisakhRulez said...

try to change the lives of people around you, in anyway possible... even if they accept it or not..

i follow this motto in my life

i_am_a_nymph said...

thanks for the support yaar!

VaisakhRulez said...

you are welcome

John said...

oo enthaa orru set up , kollam ketto ...kurachhu koodi saahithyam aavaam ennu thoonanu...ellle

Vinaya said...

Very well-written ammu.. If only you had added this line to it I would have looked up to a great friend..
"She came in and she left.. What went through her mind is incomprehendable, but so much is true... She still remains and can never be displaced.."

Vinaya said...

change has more to do with the mental make-up of a person i hv understood.. if u want to believe in smthg u strongly think is true.. nothing can help u change tht perception...but if u could just wait n think as to why it is so.. or how true is this assumption it would be tru friendship raised to infinity

malmsteen said...

life will have tough times... people can be frustrated about that.. try to get closer to her.
maybe u will be helping that person out.... well this was said by someone else.. If thats the truth... and later on you find out, yes she was going through a tough time.Which u pretty well know,then whats the use of all this... Life is all about being for others.. But if you always think from you point of view.. trust me.. things will only get worse... If you really feel that she was your good frd... Then its high time you change... And think from her point of view too... Kris.

i_am_a_nymph said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
i_am_a_nymph said...

change comes over the mind..thats very true i believe but change never happens between relations..for as long as it is strong and true...but it does change when one changes..but love still remains until it reaches a point where one doesnt want to turn out to be stupid..we all have self respect..and ya it is true to be selfless in a realtion but then isnt there a limit to everythin..and ya it is true that how much ever she has changed as u said vindi..she is still lives in my heart and no one can take over it...and thats the reason for this hurt..